MY RANDOM THOUGHTS

I used to think my love of random knowledge acquisition was a useless endeavour that had neither value nor benefit.  I have believed that the basic insight I hold into the myriad things I know is of no consequence in who I am, who I become, and what legacy I build.  But here I am learning, a student of the universe, if you will. A jack of all trades and a master of none, as they say, but often times, better than a master of one, hence the continuous amassing of random data. And a master of none, that I truly am. But somewhere along the way, I've found places they fit.  Places that gave me a sense of accomplishment, a sense of belonging, places that held the fragments of my existence as though they were miracles. I am still learning, and even though the span of my interests is as fragmented as a toddler's,  I am blossoming.  I am but a patina, an accumulation of layered yet temporary heavens. So dear Me, shall we then bloom wherever the universe plants us next?...

Not giving up, Just letting go, The weighty expectations  Placed upon myself.   @Sue.Ketter

Do not try to save me I was made broken  This box I put myself in  Only opens from inside  Do not try to save me Lest I pull you into my brokenness  In this windowless box Only I can open  Do not try to save me Your quiet presence is all I require  To light up this box I live in Only opening to breath Do not try to save me I have strength the size of Supergirl  When time is right  Only then shall the box open    @Sue.Ketter

I am the gentle breeze, Flowing through quietly, The dead of night, The stillness in the silence, wherein I thrive. I am the lessons learnt, The scars I've carried are my blueprints, The culmination of all that sorounds me, The sum of which constitutes the person I become. In the midst of life's journey, Somewhere in time, In the echoes of certain uncertainty,  Where, in what form shall we meet again?   @Sue.Ketter

Gentleness does not equate weakness  As absence of violence does not equate gentleness. In her gentle presence  With quiet a smile  She's the picture of peace For to be benign  One must first inflame. Her gaze, it scotches  She's born of ferity She's been a phoenix  For to give light  One must first burn. In her still ways  She carries humility  She's every bit idyllic  For to be gentle  One must first burn.   @Sue.Ketter

Dear gentle reader  Here I go again  Writing about dreams  If you ask me about my dream  I would not know what to tell you  As Carl Jung said "If a path before you is very clear, you're probably following on someone else's" I have yet to marry my dream to my purpose. What is my dream? All i know is, I am writing  As I have always written  Words flowing, cascading through the pages To make sense of the world within and without me To unravel the chaos To let in the light wherein I would otherwise drown. My words, what weight do they carry? I have a hope though  That they would enlighten, inspire As my quest to fathom this journey called life  For I too have been lost I am bereft of judgement  Where my dreams take me My purpose will meet me there.  @Sue.Ketter

Have you thought of roads not taken  The choices you made  Where did they lead? The people who passed by you  The lessons you learnt Where did they go? The waves of change  Where they gentle,  Forming overtime?  As water flows to form a river Where they rough,  All consuming? As a raging as a storm  Now here, looking back  The unbecoming that led to becoming  Can you say, oh! that's why? Learnt patience, in the waiting  Learnt holding on, in the storm  The reason for being  Was in the growing  Strength in the knowing  Peace in the healing  Somewhere between then and now   @Sue.Ketter

I can assure you,  I'm not off with the pixies For the most part I am sane  A daydreamer I am though. Should I welcome you inside my mind To begin you must remember You may encounter the darkness  She lurks ever so close Etching at the surface. Walk through the maze that is my thoughts I dare you  Even I, get lost in there Be wary of her ladyship  Her defenses are high She's been holding herself back. As you move forward You will encounter the light Give her a smile and a hug She was a long time coming She's the embodiment of strength. When you reach the centre  And you find memories living there Be gentle with her She carries the narrative  She maybe just a tad off. On your way out when you meet Ms imagination Do not linger long, She may keep you yet She has made herself The empress to the castles in the sky. And as you exit What you have learnt  Leave them there. Tell me, that journey  Your perception of me, did it change? ...

I like to think of myself as a collector of abandoned hobbies  I commence but never implement I have been a designer 👗,  My dresses have walked the fashion halls of Milan 😉😉 I have been an artist 🎨, I thought myself a Van Gogh of sorts  I have been a chef 👨‍🍳,  Many a recipes left undone  I have been a performer 🎤, The spoken word never left this lips I have been a nail technician 💅,  I blame COVID for this one, not my apparent lack of business accumen I have been an interior designer 🏡, You should see the house of my day dreams; Exquisite is the word I have been a photographer 🖼️, There's a gallery in my house of day dreams  I have been a linguist 🗣️, Well a linguistics beginer, can I speak those languages? 😁 I can say hallo, anyong, chamgeei, bonjour, sabalkheri, busheree I have been a reader 📚, This is slowly awakening from a long slumber  I have been a writer ✍️  I found my niche here, this is where I rest.  ...

The world outside holds all of my hopes and fears So I've opened the door to let them in Though scary it may seem I have stepped into the plain. The world outside holds all of my hopes and fears So i've opened the door to welcome the unknown To leave my zone of comfort I have ventured onto the road well travelled. The world outside holds all of my hopes and fears So i've opened the door to let them in To follow the dream I have carried the tempest with me.       @Sue.Ketter

I have a mighty need To escape from my mind From the chaos therein. So I write To discern from the jumbled words And tangled thoughts  To paint expressions from my imagination Across the canvas made of hope With my tools A  choice of colored pens and a notepad To convey a dream I know not how to denote.     @Sue.Ketter

I am the girl sitting in the corner  Calmly watching, observing I was made for solitude  For I am fluent in silence.     @Sue.Ketter

I pick up my quill,  I think,  Today I'll write about love. Can't quite seem to jot down those words Those soul-touching expressions 😍  That makes you want to let go  Fall into timeless adulation.  I read romantic poetry,  I want to be inspired 😀  By their rhythms, and rhymes, and honeyed words Those seem to float away when I  assemble myself to write. Should I compare the clouds,  How some  dissipate into nothingness   Or will they form into a storm? Heavy and all-consuming. Or should it be stars 🌟,   Shimmering in the sky Far away yet not alone Watching apart but yet together. What about the moon🌙,  Only showing itself  at night Waiting patiently for its turn Trusting that its time will come.  How about the flowers ,  With the cherished meanings they hold Did you get a rose 🌹 , or was it a tulip🌷?  What color was it?  Don't you just dread the black. I think I'll...

It is true, faith can move mountains But hear me out Some mountains you are trying to move You were meant to climb 🪜.  So while I pray 🙏 for the mountains to move  I will take my talents and gifts And climb with them, dancing along the way   Faith will be my harness 💪 . Moving slowly is still motion  I'll pick a wildflower, drink from the stream  The destination will be there when I arrive Better late than never, right?  @Sue.Ketter 

I admit, though reluctantly  That My writings seem clumsy I'm just but a beginner Taking chances, s cribbling away Lost in thoughts of what to write next. Obsessing over grammar and writing tools I have made the dictionary my friend, kind of Still learning within the confines of my comfort zone Putting my pen to paper while the world sleeps, well some. Occasionally, I churn out a great piece Fighting with self-deprecating criticism Toeing the line between happiness and sadness To not be misunderstood, would make my world go around. I write about you sometimes Sometimes, about no one at all A muse, do I have one? Hmmmm! Myself, maybe, Is that selfish? I do write for me, so... In my imagination,  I'm a sword-wielding empress I have conquered the world of fear I have cast aside self-doubt I have won the battle of bravery with grace I am dancing with my pen  In my castle made of paper. Though scared I'll fall on my face I stand here Letting the river of words flow...

Some days, I miss you in waves Some days, I hear your voice sounding my name some days, I hear a song you would have loved  And I miss you, it's drowning. No one said it would be this hard. Today I am listless, listless, listless I want to know what heaven looks like How did you always know to call me when I needed it? Though your time here was short  I hope you see  How beautifully blooming we are, from whence you left us For you'll always be a part of who we are. Though gone you are from us I know You are home Thank you for your part in our journey Till we meet again.     @Sue.Ketter

To understand how she got here  We must go back to the beginning To the girl who lived to make others happy To the girl who sank to hold them up  To the girl who loved  And lost herself to the ramblings of whom they told her to be. She'd forgotten about her dreams for too long So she thought to dream new dreams To transform from the entropy of her making    To leap into reckless abandon i nformed by fearless passion To catch up with the dream she believed was running from her. So she let go of all the words stuck in her throat And let them cascade over the blank pages In an intricately woven flow of locution To pick herself up in these moments To rediscover her place  To find herself in the abyss of the cosmos.      @Sue.Ketter

Only I can decide who I am So I took a step forward Leaving the place that hugged me I decided, what I want to do, I will do now No more waiting for later, later made me complacent Leaping into the unknown, moving ahead to go back in time To be who I was meant to be. The universe will catch me, I hope My heart's pounding, I want to say a mile a minute but I'm over clichés There's a little T-rex in all of us apparently So I will roar through these pages To find my place in the vastness of space. Got lost for a while there, fitting in was not for me  Neither was standing out, yet not invisible either Like an elephant in the Arctic Who knows, maybe this elephant can survive the Arctic. I am born of love and loss and everything in between I have traveled far to come full circle I am become a revenant This purpose I seek, my soul embrace thee.     @Sue.Ketter

Night is my friend Words flow freely here. In the quiet silence Thoughts consume me. Have you seen me lately? I have been who I was. Did you notice, Or did it escape you? In the simple complexities of life I changed to remain the same, I know, baffles me too. Me, here, now I have not lost you yet, I am still and always me Have you seen me lately? I have been who I was, I am who I've been.     @Sue.Ketter

It takes time for me to act on ideas But when I finally do, I soar, maybe I have never hoped to be on any acme Nor did I dream of breaking any glass ceiling . I know my purpose And I resolve to live it These mountains I've climbed Gave me the strength I didn't think I had. So here I am Bearing myself in a place that makes me uncomfortable But hey, be uncomfortable with me No regrets is what I aim for And when my time comes, I'll say I lived.     @Sue.Ketter