MY RANDOM THOUGHTS

She wondered how they saw her, How they felt when they first met her,  The realization they came to as they knew her The conclusions they reached as they thought of her. She stood in front of the mirror, glancing at her image Afraid that if she looked too long, she'd see what they saw Maybe she'd already seen it, somewhere in the shadows of her outline, While she toed the line of self-introspection, Never really venturing too deep, lest she's met with desidolia, She breathes in, another day, perhaps. She's lived in the garden of her mind, A lot more than she should have, Watering vines that the seed of words left behind, The hold they had on her, thorny or soft to the touch. The blossoms she was waiting for in the quiet, The fruits these wild growths would bear, How fiercely did the roots claim her? She navigated the path between the canopies, The flowers, she hoped, would bloom colourful, The fruits? A little mix of sweet and sour wouldn't hurt.    @Sue.Ketter

I used to think my love of random knowledge acquisition was a useless endeavour that had neither value nor benefit.  I have believed that the basic insight I hold into the myriad things I know is of no consequence in who I am, who I become, and what legacy I build.  But here I am learning, a student of the universe, if you will. A jack of all trades and a master of none, as they say, but often times, better than a master of one, hence the continuous amassing of random data. And a master of none, that I truly am. But somewhere along the way, I've found places they fit.  Places that gave me a sense of accomplishment, a sense of belonging, places that held the fragments of my existence as though they were miracles. I am still learning, and even though the span of my interests is as fragmented as a toddler's,  I am blossoming.  I am but a patina, an accumulation of layered yet temporary heavens. So dear Me, shall we then bloom wherever the universe plants us next?...

She smiled, that smile that reached her eyes A subtle shift in the core of her being Simple, yet somehow the view changed The clouds, no longer grey but silver, The beginnings of change on the horizon And all around her, the air became feathery light Flowing with an emerging vigor It made for a sight to behold. She rose from her seat, smiling still As though she knew a secret no one else knew about There was a gleam of hope in her steps, as bouncy as they were Her aura twinkled as she danced in the waning showers of the rain, Inviting companions in her display of faith The tenderness that never left her, giving as she received A gift in the silent echoes af a storm It made for a sight to behold.   @Sue.Ketter

The world moves on, while she sits still in her cocoon,  That question: what have you been doing? It makes her pause. Her sense of being pushed off balance She has neither the energy nor the capacity to answer it. So let it sit as she ruminates. She's running, yes, definitely running, or is she hiding?  From the echoes of dreams she can barely recall,  From roads left untaken, almost taken  From waiting; that's the hardest one really, the waiting!  It gnaws at her bones sometimes. She's holding onto the fragility of peace, One she cannot let go of The sanctity of her mental well-being, It binds her to a false security.  As she hides her discomfort behind acceptance. She's standing in place, for the gravity of it. She's keeping within the periphery  Out of sight but present, always present She has mastered the art of patience. Time, she's giving it, biding it, collecting, waiting.    @Sue.Ketter

She put all her unsaid on paper  And suddenly, the world was much lighter A quiet release of the old, A requiem to all she'd been  Birthing resilience in the glide of her pen.    @Sue.Ketter 

As I join you on this tapestry called life With every stitch I will love you With every change of pattern, I will guide you If you run out of thread Do not fret, rest, I will hold you  And when you pick up a thread To stich your way forward  Remember to revel in the beauty of the tapestry   @Sue.Ketter 

Where to begin, Hmm! There are corners of our souls we keep hidden If they can't see, they can't touch Or so we tell ourselves To bear ourselves bare Would it break us?  Or would we finally fly Ever heard the phrase 'that's not like you'? How would they know  They've only seen the side we chose to let them  We have curated our images Fitting into the different dimensions of our spaces calcullative isnt it? So who are we really? What you see is what you get, or Did we don the masks too long? They became us. @Sue.Ketter

She was both self-aware and unaware Sailing the in-betweens Never really belonging to herself For every phase, she became the place she was Trading one mask for another  Shading parts of who she was  Taking the new forms as though her own Fitting in and standing apart all at once.  @Sue.Ketter

He was an open book; She was illiterate. She coloured his world; he was colour blind Sitting across the platform from each other  The pull too strong to ignore  Opposite attracts right,  Right?,  Right! Stealing glances, seeking confirmation  Hiding smiles  Air heavy with anticipation For a while, neither dared to move, Tick tock Whistles sound in the distance  Tick tock She takes the train And with it, an almost, almost love.  @Sue.Ketter

Beyond the line is where she resides  Serving kindness unconditionally  Looking put together; moving on autopilot. She's an ocean,  She has all the water you may ever need,  But she's salty, and you're thirsty. She'll slay some giants Winning smiles and hearts along the way  From murk, her beauty stemming. She's the moon She shares her light in the darkness of night Outwards, she's courage, inwards, she's waning. She's a time bomb The giants she slayed have turned ghosts, Ravaging at her imminent implosion.    @Sue.Ketter

Not giving up, Just letting go, The weighty expectations  Placed upon myself.   @Sue.Ketter

That you found me, living in the grey That you held me, shaking hands in fight mode That you hugged me, bruised and battered That you loved me, sharp edges and all     @Sue.Ketter

She was peace, Riding on his chaos,  Swallowed in his turmoil Shrivelled in disbelief  Tearing at the seams with doubt Wondering why  Why must she carry weights not meant for her?  Why must she hold the reins, be the anchor?  Why Why must she, As chaos embodied her He was flying while she was drowning. She was peace Standing in place, riveted Keeping that which consumed her  Shrouded in disconnect Sharp-tongued and strong-willed Wondering when  When will she put down the weights not her own When will she hold the reins, be the anchor When When will she As hope overtook her He was flying while she was rising. She is peace Arriving comes full cycle Starting in the middle She learned to live in the moment Blooming in the place life placed her Wondering ceased The weights she carried, placed in Mercy's seat Holding the reins, being the anchor, stronger for it There Becoming whole As faith filled the void She was flying just as he was.  @Sue.Ketter

I'm sorry, my love, for being the center of your world, For falling deeply, with no walls to unfurl. I taste your patience, and I'm filled with regret, For unanswered calls, and the silence we can't forget. Perhaps I've driven you to find solace in another's place, A temporary fix for the love we once shared in this space. If regret is what you feel, for meeting me, I understand, I'm sorry for my flaws, and the love that's lost its stand. I'm sorry for overreacting, for delaying our sail, For not jumping into the boat, and navigating love's gale. But if you'll take my hand, and have me back in your life, I promise to sail with you, through every storm and strife. @Chamasop Cheruiyot 

The consequential price she paid, The more she stood still  The more the shadows grew.   @Sue.Ketter

Love crossed her path  Dressed in sunset vibes and bad boy aura  Smiled and waved at her,  She took a breath, frowned  Doubtful  Gave a guarded smile Walked on, never looking back  Loving herself was long overdue.   @Sue.Ketter

Forever seems like a long time But see forever is not always aways away  Sometimes it gets here sooner  And good bye reminds you  That forever is relative. When time suddenly stops  And yet keeps going  The last hello The last laugh The last smile  The last good bye 🫂  And In the quiet moments  When grief steals herself a seat beside you  To remind you that forever happened  Embrace her, let her in Tell her I see you,  Knowing grief is a manifestation of love.    @Sue.Ketter

She lived only for that moment  When silence met with the echoes  Born from longing  Plucking at the strings of fate Moulded by time. Time moving through her,  Around her Beside her Never before her Wavy, cyclical, never linear. Linearly holding herself  In  the confines of notions prejudiced Shattering expectations  With her unequivocal saunter Becoming, chance arriving. Arriving at the destination  Courage summoned from within  Through the maze, flowing, reaching  Wielding only herself, a masterpiece  The epitome of self.   @Sue.ketter

Fear, I have faced you many a times  Hidden behind fake brevity  Holding nerves with shaking hands Stood at a standstill  Afraid the boat might rock  Lest we sink in the abyss of perpetual motion. I see the destination  The becoming  and unbecoming  Holding back My crown down  For a moments peace Should I let the world observe me.   Do not swallow me  Attention; I want you, I don't want you I crave courage  Come find me courage I long to soar high  Whilst I hide in the safety of anonymous. I shall hold you amidst despair Do not disparage me. This stumbling in between  Searching and finding  Giving and taking  Knowing and being. Shall I match beyond the pages To the stages  The podium awaits  For the performative performance  I long to soar high  Whilst I hide in the safety of anonymous.    @Sue.Ketter

She's a hard pill to swallow that one She leaves many a troubled souls in her wake  I shall equate her to a deluge.  @Sue.Ketter